Things that make you go DOI-OI-OI-OI-OI-OINGGGGG!!


Well we are down to 1 day left working at WALLY WORLD then I never have to set foot on, in or around one again EVER. Today was interesting. We are in Montgomery, ALABAMY. We had 3 reps plus the marketing girl for this state show up today. Last time the RV came through this state they were jam packed with tons of people. So everyone arrived in full force in anticipation of the onslaught of eager consumers. Well it was raining and cold today and we set up outside anyway because we are glad to be in above freezing temperatures. So there we were, ready to deal with the onslaught of eager consumers. Um… OK eager consumers… any minute now… O..N..S…L…A…U…G…H…T…? NO? um OK thats cool we’ll just be sitting here in the cold and rainy wind if anyone wants to talk to us. Yep.. Just sitting here…

Ok SO by 10 all but one of the reps have left us and the remaining rep has decided to go inside where all the warm people are. So that leaves me and Ful-O-Pep to our own devices. We had about a grand total of 4 people come to see us during the day which left us plenty of time to brood, scheme and people watch.

First the people watching:

GREETER LADY: She was there from the start and she insisted on every time she found a defective buggy in her line up she would wheel it out and place it in front of our tent. (For you yankees back home a buggy is what they call a shopping cart. No it is not drawn by horses). This started from the moment we were setting up and continued throughout the day despite our continued requests for her to wheel it over to the other side where there was no one to be bothered by it. On a side note I wonder how many times a day she wheels out the same busted up cart and sticks it just outside the entrance only to have it pushed in and abandoned in her vicinity so she can push it back outside again?

GL, Do us all a favor. Destroy the cart, wheel it out back and off a ravine or something. Break the cycle of stupidity.

ALABAMY THUG GANGSTAHS: So I did not know that thug life extended this far south. But it seems every po-dunk town has it’s fair share of gangstahs. They come cruising around the lot with their bass cranked up so you can hear their piece of shit car rattle and buzz like a fifty ton vibrator. Also what is the deal with pimping out your POS Plymouth? We saw one car that was all beat to hell painted with primer and had all the windows tinted red. Weird.

ATGs, you do not live in the hood, or the ghetto. You live in the sticks, sorry that’s just the way it is. ALABAMY will never be NYC or LA. Which is a good thing otherwise you would be shooting me right now.

CRACK HEAD LADY: She was our first eager consumer today. I found her trying to break into the RV and invited her into the tent. She inquired about the cost of our goody bags. They were free, she took one and was scrutinized by security and management as she left to find something else to try and break into.

CHL, might I suggest a lower profile vehicle to break into. Perhaps one with red tinted windows. Or this wobbly buggy here.

Now the scheming

We have come up with our million dollar money making company.

SMARKETING (click to be redirected our hilarious business plan but the link is dead which is not nearly as funny)

and the brooding

We got to reminiscing over all of the dumb things we have had to do on our adventure, or been told we should or will have to do. We even made a list. Lists are fun and an effective way to organize thinking. Even stupid people can make lists. Here is ours. I’m sure there are more than we remembered here, but lets call these “highlights” in no particular order.

Stupid answers for the stupid situations you’ve been put in. OR just stupid situations:

1) It is 105 degrees in the tent. The client is telling you to buy another AC unit. You call the office and they suggest buying a couple of fans.

2) It is 0 degrees with the wind chill and the locks are frozen shut. The office suggests lighting a match, heating the key, and sticking it in the lock to melt the ice.

3) It is going to be 11 degrees outside tonight and the RV needs to be winterized. You call to confirm that they are paying to have it done and they want to have a conference call about it. You ask if you should tell the people working on it to stop and let the pipes freeze. The office then decides to pay for it.

4) Your RV has the shakes and you go get the brakes checked. This is not the problem and you send a big long email expounding on the issue and how they have checked the brakes and that isn’t what it is. The office calls the next day and suggests you get the brakes looked at.

5) The hitch is only four inches off the ground when we start out in August. We drag it on every entrance and exit of every parking lot from Mo to Tenn before anyone is willing to take responsibility for the problem and let us get it fixed. In Memphis we get stuck in the middle of the street.

6) Iowa in November.

7) Having to find an internet connection every day in the middle of nowhere. Driving a big RV and dragging the hitch on every hotel and Starbucks entrance.

8) Working an extra hour a day after they change our scheduled work hours. Which also results in us having to get up at 5am every day.

9) No days off- ever.

10) Having to deal with poorly designed Excell forms.

And these grand finales just in! Drum roll please

11) Setting up outside in the freezing and snow to ‘check in’ the tent.

12) Having to pay for our own hotel when we come back and check in.

So yes we are about ready to be done with this tour, if you could not notice. Not to be negative. As they say there is no “I” in “TEAM” but there is an “I” in “IDIOT”

So we will be stopping by my Aunt’s on the way back to St Louis. Also we will be picking up our replacement manager in Nashville and making him drive the rest of the way. Hopefully between the snow and ice and the RV’S epileptic convulsions and the fact that he has never driven a vehicle like this, we will make it back in one piece. THEN we get to complete numbers 11 and 12 above.

Somehow all of this made us want to stick a fork in our eye and then flick it with our finger so it goes DOI-OI-OI-OI-OI-OINGGGGG. But enough of that. I have spent way too much time on the computer tonight.

*sways back and forth and falls face first into keyboard*

Things that make you go DOI-OI-OI-OI-OI-OINGGGGG!!

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